Why I am not keeping this blog bilingual anymore

To all my English Followers: This is concerning YOU! Because I'm not going to blog in English anymore, but go and read the whole story, because I'm also going to start a new blog only in English. I'll start from the very beginning

I'm finished. It's too much, I can't stand it anymore and I only feel dryed out of it. There are so many words to describe how I feel about blogging in English and German on one blog and translating every single post on it, only a few days after I started it. It was a crazy idea, like so many, and the more time went on, the more I realized, how much madness blogging in two languages at the same time, by translating everything. I love blogging in English, you know. I love the language. It's more my second language than Chinese ever was, even though my mother is Chinese and a bit embarrassed, because we mistake each other much more than normal mothers and daughters. (Okay, I actually don't want to depress you with my personal stuff, but now I've written it)

Blogging bilingual is a hard project. Already a few weeks after I started it I struggled about it. Because I couldn't just let my thoughts flow from my mind through the keyboard onto the screen, because when I did that, I wasn't finished. I wasn't finished, because I still had to translate. Wanted to. I don't know exactly, what drove me to this alll year long, but fact is, that I did it. And I don't regret. It was still kind of fun, and it's a great feeling to look back and know, that you did, that you really managed to blog in two languages for almost a whole year. It was an interesting experience and I learned a lot, not only English.


But now, in the last few weeks, I've realized, that I can't go on this way. Because I love blogging. And I could blog so much more, if I didn't translate. I could have so much more fun and write so much more. The crazy thought is, that I'd probably blog more, even if I had three blogs at the same time, because I waste no more time on any post because I have to translate it. I started hating translating. Why? Because it takes more time than writing. Because all the year it became more and a more of a barrier, that keeps me from doing all those things I really want to do write. There are so many things I want to write, and translating is stupid from that perspective, because you may produce a lot of text, but it's exactly the same that you've already written. Sometimes I also think, I could write better about this in English, if I didn't translate, but write a whole new text in English from scratch, because there are still some differences between German and English and sometimes it's cool to translate wordplay, but it's also exhausting.

So, here's my plan: I have created a new blog. It will be only in English and it won't be the same as I write here. I will continue blogging here, but I won't blog in English here anymore. That's the past. It's not good for my grades either, I think blogging in general has lowered my grades at school. But I will still remain blogging in Englisch somewhere in this world. I've been officially claimed mad because of this. It's truly madness. But I will do this, because I feel that it is the right thing and because blogging bilingual is madness too, but a madness I can stand no longer. So, you can visit me on my new blog if you want: